We were on our way to dinner at some dear friends' home. Thankfully, my friends ignored my husband's offbeat and snide comments. After dinner, the ladies adjourned to the craft room upstairs (even though it is chock full of stuff, the space has got some great energy) and the gentlemen retired to the outdoors for smoking. That was my only respite the whole day.
My husband is just going to say mean things. It is the disease talking, not him. Learning to develop a skin of flint is not an easy task for me. I can be very tenderhearted. Combine that with the fact that words were deadly weapons in my childhood home and you have a recipe for feeling inferior and tears.
Gentle readers, if you have a loved one with C.T.E., know that there is nothing easy about this process. We will have to develop skills we never anticipated, like a skin of flint. We cannot jeopardize our self image over comments said by a maimed brain. They just don't know what they are doing. When I confronted my husband on the way home, he was upset with himself and said: "I try not be an asshole but sometimes there is no stopping it. I don't want to say those things but they just come out."
This is a difficult time to work on one's self confidence but we simply must. We must be sure of ourselves as we care for the one we love. We cannot become mired in the disease of C.T.E. We need to do whatever it takes to keep our spirits up, our hearts full of love and our skins as flint.
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